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Oh, Jesus is the reason
for this joyous season
why in this time of Yule,
we celebrate the solstice

Of Nazareth, he’s the reason
for this heinous season
let’s slaughter some Celts
and blame a pagan god

Oh, Jesus is the reason
for this lurid season
let’s just buy more shit
to force through our needle

Of Nazareth, he’s the reason
for this horrid season
for every crying brat
and stripper Mrs. Claus

Oh, Jesus is the reason
for this fucking season
there’s not a single Christian
who ever lived like Christ

Of Nazareth, he’s the reason
for this abysmal season
it’s not being oppressed
when you don’t get your way

Oh, Jesus is the reason
for this putrid season
fuck all the other gods,
kwanza, and the Jews

Of Nazareth, he’s the reason
for this repugnant season
the music’s all a pox,
coal in my socks

Religion is a fucking curse
and only Commies read
it’s clear in the bible:
Jesus was born in spring!

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