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Across a lake of fire, sailing,
as I hear that Banshee wailing,
at my heels, the Hell-Hound’s tailing
ups the beat of my inhaling
ice-cold sweat, I must be paling
I jump a fence, and Hell-Hound’s scaling
makes me think that I’m derailing
could it be my psyche’s ailing?
or worse yet, simply failing?
The Banshee’s sing to me each night,
they prod and feast upon my fright
and just to add more to this plight,
my life is a dog’s delight
just a shadow in my sight,
but these two, their toxic bite,
takes my life, pale and white
the grip of Death, around me, tight
sees all I love into the light
it doesn’t matter how hard I fight,
Death takes all
Eternal night.
i got to have a picnic at a cemetery for the first time in my life today, and got to see a very pretty lady flash a coffin. not related, but worth bragging about.
iliketoitals 
I like toitals, the opening line is wonderful, as are the two final lines! Terrific hook! I love the word combo, “Banshee wailing” and “Hell-Hound’s tailing”. Really great rhyming scheme all the way through. I especially like that you differentiated the rhyme between the first stanza and the second. Wow, the entire piece is so visual. Okay, wondering, rum, no rum, to create this poem? LOL! Did you feel the earthquake this morning about 7am, just now as I was typing this? Anyway, very creative poem, I really enjoyed it!
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oh no i didnt, i passed out after 5 and slept like a rock. was it big?
i wasnt drinking for this one. i drink alone a lot, so i try to curb it a bit.
im glad you liked it! this was one of the ones that i just get a line and go with. for this one, i was trying to go to sleep and this cat in my apt. complex keeps going to this bird nest outside my window and stealing, then playing with the babies. the screams were so distracting. i like monorhyme, but feel they have the potential to be really dull due to a lack of possibilities, so im glad i was able to make the transition work as well.
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It was in Carson, I think, but don’t quote me 3.7, I’m much closer than you, since I’m further west than you are. OMG, what a schedule going to bed at 5a! I did, I totally liked this one. I think the rhyming worked really well, maybe because the stanzas were a good length. Yes, this worked really well.
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ah ok. still pretty close, though, im glad i slept through it, i was exhausted lol.
im glad you like so much of my stuff. i feel like a lot of it isnt as good as i thought it was when it was done, but you pump out some really great stuff so its reassuring to have you enjoy my stuff.
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How lucky for you, to sleep right through it! The only time I didn’t feel a large earthquake, was when I was driving. Yes, I like your writing, and your creativeness! You come up with some of the most incredible stories. Oh, I think we all feel that way about our efforts. I have been taking down a lot of my old stuff that I don’t really care for. Or my perspective has changes, so they don’t really reflect me anymore, or perhaps I just don’t like them anymore and think they are shit! LOL!
Oh, you are so nice, and so kind! I have been so slow to complete poems lately. I really unfortunately spend a lot of time with them, they just want to cling to me. I’m working on one now, which has only just been a couple of days, I’m thinking maybe next week, who knows, I’m trying to use the idea of the Seven Deadly Sins, how divine and lovely! I don’t know why I make such a ceremony out of creating a poem, fuck, I just torture myself! Ha-ha!
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angels to some, demons to others i guess.
yea, i suppose we all get a little self conscious at times, but its still pretty awesome to read that they are well received, most of the people i know dont give a shit.
are you making the sins themselves the “characters” or focal point, or is someone dealing with them?
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I’m trying to do a spin, suggesting that man is a monster, wearing a Shark-Skin-Suit. So I’m just putting down all of the ideas, and coming us with some phrases that I want to use. So far so good, I have a couple of pages of ideas, then I will start to puzzle it together, then I will get rid of about ¾ of what I have written, and then finalize it. Sometimes I’m happy, and sometimes it will be tossed, or even something may happen in-between. I’m rather unpredictable that way. I like this so far, as I think that man is the most despicable monster that there is. I hope that does not sound too doom and gloomish! LOL! and Yes, most people don’t give a shit! Sometimes strangers seem more interested than the people we personally know, now that is fucking laughable!!!
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