Happy Hour

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I thought it would be fun
to drink some bleach with lye,
to sprinkle in some spice,
and dance until I die!
But this pain is horrendous,
gut-wrenching and insane!
I should have just stuck to
some sweet fermented grain
although the loss is longer,
the result is the same
life and liver, the Reaper
is always sure to claim
so, my friend, I say,
don’t make the error of I,
a slow road is much better
if you wish to die
you’ll lose all your friends,
fortune, and your fame
your life tied to a bottle –
out flickers your flame.

just something short and fun i wrote to myself to get back into the swing of writing. stay weird! cheers.

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Whoops

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so i wrote a riddle on here about 3 years ago (search “made a pig a primal man” on here if interested), and after my friend had spent about 5 hours trying to figure it out, i accidentally spoiled it, so i gave her this as an apology lol. not super hard since i made it up on the fly, but here we go :). it’s another riddle

sometimes, I shelter secrets,
and occasionally, I hide
yet secrets always guarded,
until I choose to slide
my name is short – germanic,
like dig, stab, jab, and bide
sometimes I have handle,
in past, I chaste a bride
if you tickle me,
often, you’ll be denied
that is, unless, of course,
I want your hands inside
never in this passage,
to you, have I lied,
my only goal: protection
of the secrets that reside

Deserted

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I found myself lost,
devoid of what to write
succumbing to a sickness,
my heart consumed by blight
again, I’m in the gutter,
and all I love is dead
the only thing I have –
my overwhelming dread
I want to just give up,
to restart, or rewind
maybe suicide,
or myself, again find
I loathe this existence,
much more than before
although life’s a bit better,
still such a fucking bore
I’ve heard that that’s normal,
that most things are dull,
I would rather die
than live life a hull
perhaps I can pull through,
and find a bit of joy,
rekindle my passions,
or meet a smile, so coy
but I’ve said that before,
’tis my favorite lie,
second only to
“today, I finally die”
I am just so tired
of all that I can see
when I look in the mirror,
just an enemy

Lucid Nightmare

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I watched a Demon rise
from a faeries grave
her eyes, hypnotic pools
that, in witch, I drowned

I first spoke desire,
a favour she returned
and when I asked her name,
she spoke in tongues unlearned

We conversed for a while,
gave gifts and feast a plenty
we entered a pact,
my slyness a fool

When we first did kiss,
I swore that I knew sin
she feasted on my flesh
as I did so, her scent

I still bare the scars
her nails tore in my back
I still hear the song
that, to me, she’d sing

I know I’m not the first,
nor will I be the last
if, once more, we met,
again, I would fall prey.

Terminal

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My beating heart grows so weak,
as I welcome Death
with open arms

I knew this day would some day come,
but I did not think tomorrow
and as I stutter through shortened breath,
my abysmal life is sorrow
there is so much I let slip by,
and much more I squandered
I wish that I could just get high
and finally meet my god

Satan, I am coming home,
a broken man, so flawed
and as I force myself to write
my pulse is growing weak

I feel my life slipping away,
and everything hurts
I just want to finally die
and, at last, feel peace,
a soul, finally at ease.

last week, i was hospitalized for my heart diseases (plural, yay!) and every day since then has been misery. im not even being an edgy goth kid when i truly and honestly say that i want to die. i am just so tired of everything. i fucking hate free verse, but dont have the strength to write actual poetry

stay weird

Faeterien

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I’ve heard tales of a place
that no one sane should see
yet one night, against my hopes,
cursed visions came to me
those sordid tales did oh so little
justice to this place
woeful was the heavy air,
and sulfur was it’s taste
the sky was warping, ever changing,
bringing Daemons down,
they spoke to me, in tongues unlearned,
so shrill was their sound
demanding so relentlessly,
those Daemons ordered sin
and when I uttered my first protest,
they ripped off my skin
laughing, they reiterate
that I should kill my kin
that I should burn an orphanage,
and slice a toddler thin
the buildings that surrounded me
did waver and did crumble
I stress, there never was an earthquake
for I did not stumble
simply a display of power
instilling such fear
ensuring I never question
evil in my ear
and as I stood and entertained
the actions that they preached,
one stepped forward, and for my heart
she slow slowly reached
her nails, like daggers, pierced my chest,
just butter – no resistance,
around my heart, she gripped and pulled
singing sins with such persistence
with her free hand, she caressed my chest,
consumed my heart with glee,
she softly whispered in my ear,
“Fire will set you free”
she placed two hands upon my shoulders,
and on my cock, a third
skillfully, she tugged and pulled,
until my vision blurred
I splattered cum into her hand,
and she licked it clean
once more she whispered, sternly now,
the joys of gasoline
like a worm into my ear,
her words did burrow deep,
an endless echo, cursed to me
until eternal sleep
she coyly pulled my face to hers,
and trace my chin with her finger,
then she tangled in my beard,
and there she would linger
she promised me eternal life
if for her, I would slay,
and if I would just eat some children,
with her, I could lay
and, my friends, it tantalized
to follow her commands
to bathe in fresh spilled sweetened blood,
or whatever she’d demand
and if you asked me, on this day,
if I’d repeat my course,
relentlessly, I would say, “Yes”
until my voice drew hoarse
for, it’s sad, I’ve seen no pleasure
quite like homicide
and for her touch, I’d gladly choose
in Hell to reside
so to her, I promised my soul,
and vowed to her my life,
her eyes, they glistened, as she smiled
each crooked tooth a knife
she bit my neck and she devoured
every ounce of me
and in my dreams, every night,
her face is what I see
seldom does she speak a word,
but I know her task
always, it is her command,
never does she ask
and each day that has gone by
since that fateful night
has been devoted to my queen
for she is always right
I hope that she does deem me worthy
when I finally die
I long for her malicious kiss
and to be at her side

took fuckin months due to writers block, but i finally finished this on sunday

shower thoughts

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In this life of sin and dirt,
every day is hell
surrounded by a sea of sand
and drowned in diesel’s smell
every day that I wake up
is just a fucking curse
and every torture I survive
is a harbinger for worse
I try to find some joy in life –
a pitiful existence
the only thing to keep me sane
is my cancer’s persistence
I hope that some day coming soon
I may finally die
but life is simply far too cruel,
and that hope’s a lie

thought this up in the shower. unedited and unrefined, just felt like publishing something as ive had little inspiration as of late. stay weird

Ezekiel

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I am over-worked
and severely under-paid
I struggle to remember
when I last got laid
I am just so tired
all the fucking time

I drink away my problems
long into the night
I force myself to smile
in this state of blight
I dug myself a hole
that I cannot climb

I want things to get better
but to myself, I’m cruel
to give myself some hope
just makes me a fool
eternally a nightmare
is this life of grime

lost

i lost my password to this site, just got it back (conveniently on the 5th anniversary of me making this)

i left my current notebook in my friends car last night and i dont see her too much, so hopefully i get it back soon. ive been writing a piece (dark fiction) thats based on schizophrenia. i like it, but i hit hard core writers block on it. ive been working on it for almost two months. im at 3 pages right now, with most of the first two pages being written in like a day, then like close to a month break, then another page. idk the voice is a bit different for that last page so i might scrap it when i get it back

anyway, heres a teaser for anyone who still visits here

“she placed two hands on my shoulders
and on my cock, a third
skillfully, she tugged and pulled,
until my vision blurred”

heres hoping i get it back soon

cheers

Faery Moon

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To taste forbidden fruit
is my tongue’s desire
such sweet, supple flesh
lights my loins on fire
I will search and seek,
hunt through every mire,
until that thorn-ed fruit
I, at last, acquire

just something i jotted down on lunch at work. i appreciate that its not like my normal stuff, but fuck it, its my page. anyways, trying not to burn myself out like i did for almost 2 years. i will try to post with some semblance of regularity, but it probably will rarely be those long story-poems or the hyper gruesome ones. probably just little snippets like this or random depressing pieces.

Acid Reign

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Wrote this on acid the other week. Nothing special, but I don’t write much these days, and rarely write political stuff, so I figured I may as well post it

Acid Reign

On a night, cold and crisp,
my town did catch on fire,
and if I told you I was fine,
my friend, I’d be a liar
my house burned down, to the ground,
and oh, woe was me
and with the ember’s crackling sound
three witches – could it be?
their hair was wispy, wired knots,
their voices bred desire
no wonder was it blessed to me
that priests burned them in fire
their skin, so coarse, yet silken soft
enticed my every breath
yet hallow was the air inhaled
that reeked of rotting flesh
and on that night, cold as death,
my hollow world imploded
politicians, suited rats
fellate the banks – deep throated
and of this night, what did I learn
to call a leaking pen?
nothing, my dear, for this world
is just Lord Satan’s den
and it seems the time does end
for my life and poem,
my child, I’m running out of paper,
soot where once was loam
and for my last words, to you, I say,
please, don’t let me down
this world is turning quite to shit
thanks to the orange-haired clown.

Stagnation

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My feet weighed down by concrete,
impeding my path forward
ever down, descending
falling, drowning, ending

With every inch of progress,
my luck, again, does shift
I am cursed to mire,
burn in Hades’ fire

I ought to just give up,
(that’s what I tell myself)
exalting drug abuse,
tightening my noose

i havent had the ability to access my internet in my apartment for like 3 fucking months. anyways, i didnt write much in that time due to an extended bought of depression that i guess im still technically in. if anyone still reads my stuff, hope this was worth the wait, although i doubt it. either way, i enjoyed it. just a time killer at work

Broken

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I am just so tired
of ceaseless misery
I am cursed to suffer
my height is apathy
life is always cold,
so long, have I been numb
I think it’s finally time
that I, at last, succumb

My life is a cruel joke
and all my joy’s coerced
I tell myself I’m happy,
a lie I’ve long rehearsed

I can’t even die,
for it seems too cruel
to abandon the ones that love
this self-loathing fool
eternal, I shall suffer
with my every breath
too poor to buy a bullet,
too weak to beg for death