why cant i just die already


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The sweet release of Death
threatens to never come
the rising Sun’s a curse
that I know too well

With each and every breath,
I feel a bit more numb
crimson is the hearse
over, is my hell

nothing special, but hey, i rarely write these days.

if anyone actually still comes to this page, thanks.




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My body aches each day,
my heart and mind as well
I swear, I have been cursed
to live my life in hell
sometimes, I’m almost happy,
but it’s just a dream
misery’s my burden,
my never-ending theme.

rough, but it’s good to be back. had a few pieces i wrote in my absence but they aren’t anything special.



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I am just so tired
of ceaseless misery
I am cursed to suffer
my height is apathy
life is always cold,
so long, have I been numb
I think it’s finally time
that I, at last, succumb

My life is a cruel joke
and all my joy’s coerced
I tell myself I’m happy,
a lie I’ve long rehearsed

I can’t even die,
for it seems too cruel
to abandon the ones that love
this self-loathing fool
eternal, I shall suffer
with my every breath
too poor to buy a bullet,
too weak to beg for death

Queen of Ice


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All my worldly treasures
soon wilt to suffering
brief, are life’s pleasures
that wither and decay

I harvest my own sorrow
and feast upon my wrath
peaceful, is fate’s horizon,
with emerald fields of grass.


wrote this on the solstice while waiting for the bus. havent written much in a long time, so its nothing special, but felt the urge, so i hope you like it

Twigs and Bones


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I chanced to meet a faery,
with vibrant, emerald skin
my heart, that long grew cold,
now warmed me from within
her hair glistened at sunset,
matched by her ruby lips
her skin: so silken soft,
now graced my finger tips

I used to beg of Life
to just let me decay
yet when she steps in sight,
there, I pray she’ll stay
now, I beg of Life
to grant me one more breath,
a chance to see her face
before my date with Death.

wrote this for my friend when she was having a very bad day. not really my style and i rarely write these days, so i hope its tolerable.

Gold-Digging Bore


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nothing special, just venting

I truly could have sworn
that you were worth my time,
but it seems, alas,
I was so wrong

I thought we could have been
more than this coerced rhyme,
but it seems, alas,
I was so wrong

You wasted my time,
my effort, and my dime
I thought we could have been,
but I was wrong

Although I should be mad,
for you, I am so sad,
you sugar daddy is
a well-known perv

I truly wish good luck,
for you, and your fuck,
because in time, I know
that this will end

I’ve seen him play this game,
with about every dame,
many of whom were
my close friends

I guess that if you’re blind
to his endless trail of slime,
then you truly weren’t
worth my time

I hope you have some fun,
you and your chosen one,
but trust me when I say
that it won’t last

I’ve already found
a better soul than you
so I guess it’s time
to say “adieu”.



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I lost myself in Eisenkor
amidst the city slums
I spent a few too many nights
with drunks, whores, and bums
I threw away all my hopes,
my dreams, and aspirations
my forearms quickly scarred from needles
and self-mutilation
the gravel roads consumed my blood,
my tears, puke, and piss
and evermore, with passing time
did normal feel like this
with nights so cold and days alone,
I just wanted to die
what once brought me great pleasure,
grew dull, even while high

I grew used to the idea
that my life was over
I made a few horrid mistakes
and smoked my four-leaf clover
I shared some passing pleasantries
with the other scum
but always, oh so quickly,
to my demons, I’d succumb
I ripped out all my hair,
a feigned guise of control,
to never have a nightmare,
my sleepless eyes turned coal

I spent a few months in the slums,
a stranger to myself,
each night, piss drunk on ogre sweat
and thrice, I raped an elf
how did my life turn to this hell?
I asked, aloud, in vain
I did it to myself
through hatred and disdain

One night, I truly had enough
so I slit my own throat
and when Death came to greet me,
he only cared to gloat
rhythmically, ol’ Death did mock me
and it seemed with ease
green maggots feasted on his eyes,
his odor made me freeze
his fleshless hand reached out to me,
I’ve prayed for Death’s embrace,
yet when I grasped his hand,
he just laughed in my face
he said that I already died,
at least, to the world,
I lost myself in Eisenkor,
so to hell, I was hurled

As my soul swam in fire
I felt I was home
finally, my heart at ease,
here, where demons roam
I even found a few old friends
from my time alive
and if I could be born again,
in hell, I’d still arrive
my life was one of constant error,
anger, vice, and sin
yet here, in this hell,
I’ve finally found my kin.


found this unfinished on the back of some old paperwork, so i finished it. i dont remember writing the top 2/3s, but hey, i figured if it came back to me, it was time to finish it and start writing again. also, still havent really figured out a title, so i figured id just give the narrator a random name and title it that way because tragedy. either way, hope i didnt fuck it up too much

Atlas Mugged


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As each day’s weight is mounting,
my world begins to crumble
and on a savior, I’m counting,
whose hands forever fumble
it’s not that life’s grown cruel,
for it’s always been
I’m now a bitter fool
devoured by my sin


shit fucking howdy, its been a while. really rough and probably has some grammatical errors, but heres hoping its tolerable

Fingers Singed


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I once walked with white magick
and spelled it with a “k”
and something I find tragic
is that I lost my way
it’s easy to blame sorrow
for my blackened path
as the power I would borrow
filled me with hate and wrath
but it was my weak mind
that led my heart astray
I elected to go blind
to keep myself at bay.


This is something I whipped up this morning since I wasn’t able to sleep last night. Kinda started it in my head around 5am. It’s been humid as fuck here, and that’s not ok. Anyway, I was actually contemplating submitting this to a poetry contest since a good deal of my stuff is quite graphic, vulgar, or depressing (my take, at least) and I guess some people need to be eased into that. Either that or doing a touch up on Hymns of the Harbinger, since I’ve won a contest with that before as well. Some parts are a little clunky, I pretty much change something with that almost every time I read it. If you are actually reading this, and read that piece, please, for the love of all that is unholy, give me some fucking opinions jesus fucking shitting dick nipples.

Anyway, thanks for baring with me all this time. This piece gave me a little bit of trouble, but I am assuming that’s from allowing myself to fall out of practice. Figured I’d post a pic of the piece since I never post pictures with my stuff. If you are wondering why I am actually using capital letters in this message, it’s because I’m using ms word at work and it auto-caps. I am almost stubborn enough to turn every capital letter into a lowercase letter. Stay weird.

K Hole


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I’ve lost so many friends
to the demons of addiction
and like a battered wife,
I live for my affliction
I’m now more than dependent,
it started just for fun
I thought the pleasure innocent,
’til the demons finally won.

loosely inspired by my friend AJ’s poem
make sure to check him out!



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Forever, I am wasting
my life and time away
I’d sell my very soul
for some joy today
my pleasures have turned dull,
and my woes routine
I hope that someday soon
existence will end scene.



have 2 unfinished pieces from a few weeks ago on my desk. they were coming along well but i lost the wind. i’ll try and get them finished and up here. thanks for sticking with me being MIA all the time



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Sometimes I feel imprisoned,
but it’s of my own doing
I didn’t build the walls,
but I walked in the cage

The key is in my hand –
the door is never locked
there’s safety in the pain
and routine in the dark

I see the sun outside
and tan from time to time
a passing novelty
that somehow keeps me sane

Decaying in this cage,
I leave once in a while
but always saunter back
longing to be home.



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Its eyes glistened like diamonds,
its scales shimmered with gold
its tails, they whipped and whirled,
as slowly, it approached

Its rancid breath engulfed me,
empty, I felt so cold
its teeth, they dripped rancid venom
that charred the ground beneath

Its claws reached out to touch me,
caressing my scarred, naive skin
its tongue encircled my ear,
as ever close, it crept

Three arms, they wrapped around me,
as they warmed me within
its horns, they parted my hair,
in its crooked, clawed embrace

With fire in its past footsteps,
it climbed upon my back
it prodded me to go forward,
as I walked forth in daze

I happened across a beggar,
crippled, somehow in a shack
I asked the beast its name,
and it only voiced desire

not sure how i feel about this one, but its nice to be in the writing mood again

Squatter’s Rights


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A demon lives in my hall bathroom,
and I’m not sure why
thrice before, in vain, I’ve asked him
but I guess he’s shy
I’ve tried before to speculate –
it never sits quite right
he hates when I look in my mirror,
yet only late at night
sometimes, he crashes on my couch,
or loiters in the hall
three years now, he’s lived rent free
god, what fucking gall!
I have tried to evict him,
but he saunters back
I guess that he’s good company,
so I cut him some slack
either way, he’s quite the burden
I wish not to bare,
tonight, I’ll burn the whole town down
to say his tab is square!

The Prophet Mohammad Raped a Nine Year Old Girl


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never got around to posting this one, but hey, here it is!

Religion is just mind control
that preys upon the meek
priest say give unto Caesar
because they know we’re weak
brainwashing children is so easy
when you beat their mother
and teach the little girls
they better fuck their brother
christians are a fucking joke
and jews: a dying breed
muslims burn women with acid
just because they read
the crusades and holocaust
should proof, enough be
and who the fuck scoffs at bacon?
curse the clove-ed hoof
and I fucking know not what
a god-damn sikh is
but I know that that head-wrap
should just mop up jizz
even the well learn-ed Buddha
said he wasn’t god
but man, he did not listen
the hairless ape is flawed
and oh, those new age wiccans,
pagans, and druids, too
a written language was not
what that ripped off culture knew
and some fucking purple rocks
a cleansing, does not make
why not just drink bleach
or try to fuck a rake
the bible says that every slave
should serve their master well
but if you mix two fabrics
you’re going straight to hell
it also says the only right
that women have is silence
so peaceful is religion
when it takes a break from violence
and hindus, oh my god, the hindus
worshiping a rat
I guess it is so fitting
for a godly man is that
and I think that there are still
zoroastrians on Earth
and I swear, their number doubles
with each and every birth
tell me, now, where is god
when children die by fire?
and don’t say shit about his ways
you know you’re just a liar
and if there really is a god,
please, strike me down
your children have ruined this Earth
our water has turned brown
god, it seems, is just a lie
to keep the masses meek
controlled by fear and taxes
while behind us, royals sneak.